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Should we be com­fort­able with being alone?

This is a work in pro­gress, as I am not sure wheth­er one can extra­pol­ate this con­clu­sion to every­one.

Noth­ing is more destruct­ive of warm rela­tions than the per­son who end­lessly “doesn’t mind.” They do not seem to be a full indi­vidu­al if they have noth­ing of their own to “bring to the table,” so to speak. This sug­gests that even those who know that they are best and most fully them­selves in rela­tion­ships (of whatever kind) need a capa­city to be alone, and prob­ably at least some occa­sions to use that abil­ity. If you know who you are and know that you are relat­ing to oth­ers because you want to, rather than because you are trapped (unfree), in des­per­ate need and greed, because you fear you will not exist without someone to affirm that fact, then you are free. Some solitude can in fact cre­ate bet­ter rela­tion­ships, because they will be freer ones.

 

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